Mothering Through the Holidays: Between Magic and Mayhem
By Hayley Chrzastowski - Owner/CEO of Wild OT | Maternal Wellness, Motherhood Reflections
The holidays have always carried a certain sparkle — twinkling lights, cozy traditions, the promise of togetherness. But somewhere between the to-do lists, travel plans, and tangled strands of lights, that sparkle can start to dim.
Especially when you’re the mom.
You want to make it magical — to bake the cookies, wrap the gifts, and create the kind of memories your kids will one day look back on and feel warm inside. You imagine laughter in the kitchen, matching pajamas, and family photos where everyone is smiling (or at least not crying).
But behind the scenes, you’re the one making it all happen. You’re the glue holding the schedule together, the keeper of traditions, the memory-maker — and sometimes (or always) it feels like you’re running on empty while trying to fill everyone else’s cup. Don’t get me wrong, it is truly a wonderful time of the year, but the mom role is one that is both beautiful AND heavy. The holidays stir something deep in us — a sense of nostalgia AND a pull to make everything just right.
The Weight of “Making it Special”
There’s a quiet pressure that mothers carry during the holidays .
You say yes to the gatherings, yes to the traditions, yes to the expectations of extended family. You bake, you plan, you pack, you coordinate. You want to say yes to it all — to see grandparents, cousins, and in-laws — to show up for everyone who loves your kids. But sometimes all the “yeses” start to chip away at your peace. You’re trying so hard to make it special, potentially, at your own expense. And when everyone else collapses into bed, you’re still there — tidying up, making sure the magic continues.
AND, you’re tired. It’s the kind of exhaustion that seeps into your bones, not from lack of joy but from carrying too much of it alone. The kind of exhaustion that comes from wanting so badly to make it all meaningful. You’re carrying the invisible labor of it all.
If you’ve ever laid in bed at night, wondering if you’re doing enough, this is your reminder: You already are. Our children don’t have our perspective, they aren’t clued in to the to-do list with items on it you never checked off the list. YOU feel the weight of those not being done and everything not being “perfect” but they don’t see that. What they see is truly perfection in their eyes!
Between Two Worlds
Motherhood during the holidays can feel like standing between two worlds.
The one that craves peace, rest, and slow mornings at home — and the one that’s full of bustling gatherings, expectations, and traditions that sometimes don’t fit this current season of life.
You want to honor the old traditions, the ones that shaped you, while also building new ones too.
You want to say yes to connection, but you’re craving stillness.
You want your kids to feel the wonder — but your body is asking for a moment to breathe.
This tug-of-war doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means you’re human.
I am really feeling this in our current season as our daughter was born on Christmas Eve. This year will be her first birth and really her first Christmas she gets to participate in. But figuring out how to cherish this moment, celebrate all we have accomplished this past year, and show up for all the family events feels daunting. I don’t hate the idea of a cabin in the woods with no cell service, away from it all, unable to show up for anyone else, except ourselves. Maybe it’s selfish? Maybe it’s protective?
Redefining the Magic
What if the magic wasn’t something you had to create, but something you could notice?
The sparkle in your child’s eyes when they see the tree lit up for the first time. The giggle that bursts out during a messy cookie-decorating session. The soft quiet of a moment spent together, reading before bed.
The magic isn’t about doing it all — but about feeling it all.
Maybe this year’s magic is simpler: store-bought cookies instead of homemade ones. Saying no to the event that drains you. Letting go of the pressure to make every memory “perfect.”
Because your kids won’t remember the details. They’ll remember you.
The way your eyes sparkled when you looked at them. The warmth of your arms. The peace they felt when you slowed down long enough to just be with them.
Our kids don’t need perfect holidays. Because the magic isn’t found in the perfection — it’s found in the presence. It’s found in the quiet, tender spaces where your love lives with a mom who laughs, who breathes, who lets go of the rush long enough to just be there.
A Gentle Reminder
This holiday season, give yourself permission to:
✨ Skip the extra.
✨ Rest when you can.
✨ Choose moments over milestones.
✨ Redefine traditions that feel too heavy.
You don’t need to prove anything. You don’t need to do it all.
Your love is already enough.
Your children will remember how it felt to be with you — the warmth, the laughter, the love.
So light the candle, breathe deeply, and let something go.
Let the season be imperfectly beautiful!
With Love,
Hayley